English Final V2

Describe the world you come from — for example, your family, community or school — and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

I had a grandpa that was very close to me. He raised me from when I was 2 years old until I was 13. He was someone that I looked up to immensely, and he influenced my life tremendously. One day, he was suddenly diagnosed with lung cancer, and he had to stay in the hospital. No longer could I wake up and see him as I walked to the bathroom, and no longer could I see him in my house, like always, a reassuring presence. Now, if I wanted to see him, I would have to visit the hospital and see him, because he was too weak to live with my family anymore. I watched as he slowly got weaker and weaker, as the cancer spread to his throat, so he could not eat solid foods anymore, instead, he had to get a hole in his stomach and had protein shakes through the tube because he could not swallow. Eventually, he weakened so much that his body could not handle it and he died. I was inspired to become a doctor or at least get into the medical field, so I could help others who either had family members, or they themselves were inflicted with a debilitating medical condition. I want to have the knowledge to ease their pains or to cure whatever they are inflicted with. I did not like seeing a once strong healthy person slowly become weaker and weaker and eventually die. It is painful to see something like that happen, and to watch the disease progress through the stages. A doctor or many people in the medical field have the knowledge to either ease the pain or to cure it, and I find it very inspiring to be able to help ease a person’s pain that way. I do not want others to go through what I have, because of the painful memories and emotions that I relate to those memories. I want to be able to help people, no matter what I have to do.  

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

There are many things that I have done throughout my high school career that are important to me. I have been part of an after school program that has helped me develop as a an individual. It was a program called McCulum Youth Court. It was the first extracurricular activity that I was a part of that that actually made me feel as if i was part of something bigger. I felt as if I made a difference in my society, and that I was doing something important, instead of wasting my time on frivolous unneeded activities.
McCulum Youth Court is a program that practices restorative justice. It is a real court system that is recognized by the law. Every 2 weeks, we have a court night where we hear the cases of real youth who have committed crimes. Each court night, I have had to help strangers that are new to the program find their way through their program, and help them through the program every step of the court night.
During court nights, I have to speak with all of the volunteers that go through the program to work as jurors for the court night. I also have to speak individually with each and every judge that comes into the courtroom, and explain to them what they have to do during the court nights.  I talk to the youth offenders and their parents and tell them where they have to go and what they have to do during the court nights, each and everyone of these people being strangers. I also have to help brief each and every judge on what they have to do in court nights, and each and ever one of the judges change from one court night to the next, always strangers to me.
I have had to improve my public speaking skills because I have had to constantly use those skills each and every court night, I could not just be some kind of wall flower and hang around in the background, never speaking.

I have developed a joy of helping others in my community, and I have earned skills that are necessary for having a job that is easily accessible by the public for information, such as pharmacists, where regular people can go up to them and ask for help. In this program, I have developed public speaking skills that I can use to communicate better with other people, and I have also earned experience that is necessary to help influence people’s lives in a positive direction. I have also grown less intimidated by others, because I have grown desensitized to it due to the multiple times that I have had to face my fear of meeting and talking to new people during my volunteer work at McCulum Youth Court.

English Final

My school is an interesting place. It was an alternative school of a sorts. It is different from a traditional high school in the sense that it’s school curriculum has college classes built into it. It also has a much smaller student population, so it is easier to form stronger bonds with more people.
Before I came to this school, I was an extremely lazy person. I would procrastinate on everything, and all I would care about would be to finish my work as fast as possible so i can go play games or go on Facebook. I would never think about the work that I did nor the quality of work that I would hand it to the teachers just to get credit. After I went to ASTI however, that all had to change. I could not just procrastinate and do my work last minute. Now the teachers looked at the quality and quantity of work that was turned in, not just the quantity. I had to up the standards of my work and do all my work in a consistent timing or else I would not keep up with the work load.
Since this school was an early college high school that had college classes for he upperclassmen years, they did not offer a choice for an elective class. Instead, you had to take a Writing class, which was supposed to improve your writing skills and to bring them up to College Writing Levels. I was woefully unprepared for that class. For my freshman English class, it was practically a free A. There were not many assignments in the class, and to get an A on the assignments, all you had to do was turn something in that looked moderately like you followed the rules and instructions. There was literally only 1 or 2 people who had lower than A’s in my Freshman English class. When I went into the class, I went in thinking that I would ace everything that went in my way, after all, I had gotten an A in the last English class right? Oh how wrong I was.
Her writing class was hard, there was no doubt about it.  There was nothing that I did before that prepared me for it. I had to change my style of writing, and to improve on the vocabulary, the integration of quotes, the redundancy, almost every aspect of writing. The sudden shock dropped my A grade down to the C grade the first semester. I was crushed. Never before have I gotten such a low grade. However using the things that I had learned the first semester, I improved on my writing and managed to raise it to a high B the next semester. I had to work on losing my procrastination and developing better work habits and writing skills.
Through the school, I met a lot of people who are very focused on their futures and know either what they want to be, or have a general idea in the field that  they want to work in in their adult life. For example, David, who has already decided to go into the medical field, and be either a doctor or a pharmacist, and Vincent, who is aiming to be a lawyer.  

Before, I was unmotivated and I did not have many goals in life, nor did I have many ideas about where I was headed in life. have heard about my classmates wishes for going to schools that were related to the field that they wanted to major in, and their wishes for their futures, such as what jobs that they have wanted to get. Their dreams and aspirations have rubbed off of me, and now I feel more confident in my life’s goals. I actually have dreams and aspirations now, I want to get into the science and medical field. After hearing my classmates discuss their futures and the confidence that they have in themselves to succeed in life, I now have a lot more confidence in myself to succeed in life and to overcome whatever obstacles appear in my path to my future.

There are many things that I have done throughout my high school career that are important to me. I have been part of an after school program that has helped me develop as a an individual. It was a program called McCulum Youth Court. It was the first extracurricular activity that I was a part of that that actually made me feel as if i was part of something bigger. I felt as if I made a difference in my society, and that I was doing something important, instead of wasting my time on frivolous unneeded activities.
McCulum Youth Court is a program that practices restorative justice. It is a real court system that is recognized by the law. Every 2 weeks, we have a court night where we hear the cases of real youth who have committed crimes. Each court night, I have had to help strangers that are new to the program find their way through their program, and help them through the program every step of the court night.
Through this program, I have developed many skills necessary in life. I have had to improve my public speaking skills through phone calls that I have had to make for the program, and the things that I have had to say in the courtroom’s during court nights.  
During court nights, I have to handle most of the youth and adults that go to our program. When the court night begins, I am the person that the judge always goes to for help when they need it, I am responsible for them doing their job correctly.
I am a more self-confident person now, I am not intimated by the new and the unknown. I my be apprehensive about what the future holds, but I will not be so intimidated that I will not move on.


Hey Sutherland, I'm Just adding a link to a different version that I wrote, can you tell me which one is better in the comments?
http://mycjapan.blogspot.com/2011/05/english-final-v2.html

Comments on Rough Draft's

For David:
Even though you provided a lot of background information, you should do what you told me to do and provide more background info regarding what the reaping is, and describe the relationships between different people. Could there also have been another reason for her to have written the book? Wanting to put your feelings out for the world to see in the form of a book seems to be the generic reason to write a book, it doesn't seem special in any way.

For Amber:
What is the point of the fire? I would like to know more because you just seem to though it out there, but you don't explain what it stands for or what it represents. Also, does the is the gem only there because it was the initial thing that the fought over, and it was how they met? I would like to know more about that.